Introspection
Man, the last few days have been great. Nothing exciting has happened since my last post, but I am just on top of the world now that I have the job situation settled. I have had so many bad jobs over the years, and I really feel like I've finally found the right one for me. I'm anxious to begin, and I'm really hating my temp job right now. I guess I can deal with it for two more days.I was really starting to despair over the last couple of years, because for whatever reason I've been unable to get any sort of career off the ground. I've had a string of short-term temp jobs, most of which were just awful. But they've helped me to better understand what I'm good at, and what I enjoy doing.
Some people manage to set goals when they're young, and then to immediate set forth on a straight and narrow career path. I was never one of those people. When I was in college I wasn't concerned about studying subjects that would help me to get a good career. I just wanted to read good books and to try to improve my writing, and to study philosophy and psychology and history and art--and anything else I thought might help me to better understand the world. The idea of someday having to settle into a career never really entered my mind, at least not in any serious way. I learned a lot that way, but I could have saved myself quite a bit of aggravation had I been more focused in those days.
Of course, when I was in college the economy was really good, so I was fairly certain that I'd be able to find some kind of good job when I graduated. But, I dragged my heals even after graduation, did some travelling, and just enjoyed life. Then Emperor Bush came to power, and the job opportunities started to vanish. Then September 11th happened, and the economy went down the toilet.
Things quickly became very hard for me and I was forced to settle with anything I could get my hands on. I've been through some really tough times, but I feel that it's made me a stronger person. This isn't to say that everything is perfect for me now. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I am moving in the right direction, and it feels really good.
I'm constantly looking back on my way of thinking when I was younger and realizing that I was often wrong or foolish. I think about certain choices I made, and I can't imagine making the same choices knowing what I know now. Of course, at the time I was certain that I was right. I wonder if someday I'll look back at my way of thinking today and think I was a fool. I hope not, but only time will tell. I guess the key is to hold on to the ideas I was right about and to learn from my mistakes and cast aside the wrong ideas.
Okay, that's enough boring introspective biographical crap for a while. I thought I would post the following poem I enjoyed reading today. I like it because it has a dark feel to it, but actually has a positive message. Here 'tis:
Ode to Sadness
--by Pablo Neruda
Sadness, scarab
with seven crippled feet,
spiderweb egg,
scramble-brained rat,
bitch's skeleton:
No entry here.
Don't come in.
Go away.
Go back
south with your umbrella,
go back
north with your serpent's teeth.
A poet lives here.
No sadness may
cross this threshold.
Through these windows
comes the breath of the world,
fresh red roses,
flags embroidered with
the victories of the people.
No.
No entry.
Flap
your bat's wings,
I will trample the feathers
that fall from your mantle,
I will sweep the bits and pieces
of your carcass to
the four corners of the wind,
I will wring your neck,
I will stitch your eyelids shut,
I will sew your shroud,
sadness, and bury your rodent bones
beneath the springtime of an apple tree.
posted by Skrambled Egghead Reborn @ 9:45 PM
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