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Saturday, April 30, 2005

Grrrrr...



I just looked at my site meter and saw that I just went over 3,000 visitors, which is pretty cool. As I've said at previous milestones, I'm sure that at least 80% of them were from me checking in ten times a day, but that's okay. I'm still going to celebrate and pretend that I'm a popular blogger.

At the moment I'm home alone on a Saturday night. I had plans to go out, but my friend cancelled on me at the last minute. Now I'm just pissed off. Really pissed off. This friend could have told me two hours ago, but chose to wait until 9:00. Now it's too late for me to find something else to do. Arrrrr....I'm starting to seeth again.

I have just been really depressed today, and I don't know why. I was feeling down before my friend blew me off, so that made my mood even worse. But I have to say that anger feels better than depression. I suppose it's easier to blame some else for your mental state through anger than to blame yourself through depression. Yes, being mad at someone else feels much better than hating yourself. So, I will cling to my anger until I feel willing to forgive (which will probably be tomorrow morning).

I suppose I should be happy, since I'm starting a new job on Monday. Things will be changing drastically, and I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm in a fucked up transition period right now, but things will get easier.

Okay, that's engough venting for now. I may return later if I think of anything to write about.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Ivory Billed Woodpecker




No time to post anything at the moment, as I'm off to my last day at my temp job. I'll return later today to reply to comments and to post something else. For now I justed wanted to mention this story. Thought to be extinct for more than 60 years, the Ivory Billed Woodpecker has returned from the dead!

I don't know why I'm so excited over a bird sighting. I guess it just gives me a little bit of hope for planet Earth.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Introspection

Man, the last few days have been great. Nothing exciting has happened since my last post, but I am just on top of the world now that I have the job situation settled. I have had so many bad jobs over the years, and I really feel like I've finally found the right one for me. I'm anxious to begin, and I'm really hating my temp job right now. I guess I can deal with it for two more days.

I was really starting to despair over the last couple of years, because for whatever reason I've been unable to get any sort of career off the ground. I've had a string of short-term temp jobs, most of which were just awful. But they've helped me to better understand what I'm good at, and what I enjoy doing.

Some people manage to set goals when they're young, and then to immediate set forth on a straight and narrow career path. I was never one of those people. When I was in college I wasn't concerned about studying subjects that would help me to get a good career. I just wanted to read good books and to try to improve my writing, and to study philosophy and psychology and history and art--and anything else I thought might help me to better understand the world. The idea of someday having to settle into a career never really entered my mind, at least not in any serious way. I learned a lot that way, but I could have saved myself quite a bit of aggravation had I been more focused in those days.

Of course, when I was in college the economy was really good, so I was fairly certain that I'd be able to find some kind of good job when I graduated. But, I dragged my heals even after graduation, did some travelling, and just enjoyed life. Then Emperor Bush came to power, and the job opportunities started to vanish. Then September 11th happened, and the economy went down the toilet.

Things quickly became very hard for me and I was forced to settle with anything I could get my hands on. I've been through some really tough times, but I feel that it's made me a stronger person. This isn't to say that everything is perfect for me now. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I am moving in the right direction, and it feels really good.

I'm constantly looking back on my way of thinking when I was younger and realizing that I was often wrong or foolish. I think about certain choices I made, and I can't imagine making the same choices knowing what I know now. Of course, at the time I was certain that I was right. I wonder if someday I'll look back at my way of thinking today and think I was a fool. I hope not, but only time will tell. I guess the key is to hold on to the ideas I was right about and to learn from my mistakes and cast aside the wrong ideas.


Okay, that's enough boring introspective biographical crap for a while. I thought I would post the following poem I enjoyed reading today. I like it because it has a dark feel to it, but actually has a positive message. Here 'tis:


Ode to Sadness
--by Pablo Neruda

Sadness, scarab
with seven crippled feet,
spiderweb egg,
scramble-brained rat,
bitch's skeleton:
No entry here.
Don't come in.
Go away.
Go back
south with your umbrella,
go back
north with your serpent's teeth.
A poet lives here.
No sadness may
cross this threshold.
Through these windows
comes the breath of the world,
fresh red roses,
flags embroidered with
the victories of the people.
No.
No entry.
Flap
your bat's wings,
I will trample the feathers
that fall from your mantle,
I will sweep the bits and pieces
of your carcass to
the four corners of the wind,
I will wring your neck,
I will stitch your eyelids shut,
I will sew your shroud,
sadness, and bury your rodent bones
beneath the springtime of an apple tree.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Return to Normalcy


picture from here


"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
--Confucious

Holy shit. The idea of having any semblance of stability in my life is just blowing my mind right now. It’s been a rough month. Over the last several weeks this blog has become a case study in getting fired--except they don't call it that when you're a lowly temporary employee. I think they were pretty sure that I'd take the csr position they offered me. I felt like I was being trading traded to the Yankees, and my options were to take it or leave it. I'm fairly certain I made the right choice in leaving it.

With that said, I can now focus my mental energy on other things here, which is a very good thing. I'll be starting the new job on Monday, and I'm feeling really positive about it. They seem to feel really good about it too, which is even more important in the beginning. I'll write more about it in time. For now I just need to relax.

Here is something random that I stumbled upon:


All but Death, can be Adjusted—
Dynasties repaired—
Systems—settled in their Sockets—
Citadels—dissolved—

Wastes of Lives—resown with Colors
By Succeeding Springs—
Death—unto itself—Exception—
Is exempt from Change—


--Emily Dickinson

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm at the temp job, no time for bloginating. I just wanted to mention that

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I start next Monday. I'll write more on this tonight (if I'm not too drunk from celebrating).

Let's Join In the Fun

No time to post right now. I just wanted to direct people to this site (which was pointed out by Reality Based Nation). I think it's a great idea. No offense to any Hummer drivers out there (wait, on second thought, please take offense).

Sunday, April 24, 2005

A Story You May Have Missed

It's Sunday night and I'm off to bed soon, as I have to get up to begin what I hope will be my last week at this goddamn temp job. Hopefully I'll get the call that I expected on Friday and I can finally relax about the job hunt thing. But I don't want to dwell on that as I have already jinxed myself enough by talking about it so much. I would just ask that everyone keep those good vibes coming my way.

I don't have a whole lot to say at the moment, so I thought I would share this story. That's right folks, after an extended hiatus, I bring you Penises in the News. According to a study done by some researcher in China, Asian men don't really have much smaller penises than westerners. Italians took the prize, followed by Americans and then Germans.

Now, I'm of the mind that this study was fairly worthless, since they only examined flacid members. I mean, shit, if they were going to go to the trouble of taking a ruler to all these penises, they might as well have taken the extra time to break out some porn to help them stand at attention. Sheesh. And while they were at it, they could have examined post-pool shrinkage. Do some shrink more than others? I should've been a scientist. At least I would've asked the right questions.

Okay, that's it for now. I'm off to watch Robot Chicken in bed.

In Honor of My New Blog Pet (see right margin)

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Drunken Blogging Style



So, the dude didn't call today as he said he would to finalize the job thing. I'm getting the impression that this must be normal, since there was another case where he didn't call until two days after he said he would.

Actually, he did call today, but only to ask me to send him my references, which I already sent a week ago. I reminded him that I did send them, and he then found my message in his email box. I had thought he would've checked my refs by now, but apparently he hadn't. I'm thinking he might be waiting for some calls back from my references before sealing the deal. They are driving me fucking crazy. I'm not worried, just annoyed.

But I digress. I had a surpisingly fun night tonight. Surprising because I actually had a really good time hanging out by myself. I had two tickets to see Ratdog play in Hampton Beach tonight, but the two people I thought would be candidates for the other ticket ended up going away for the weekend.

Not wanting to waste my tickets, I went by myself and easily sold the extra in the parking lot. I met a couple of random people, but mostly I just enjoyed some time alone with my thoughts. It was quite an interesting crowd at the show. Here I was, thinking that the Bush regime had exterminated all the hippies.

Going to a concert alone is not the kind of thing I would normally do, but I'm glad I went. I was insanely bored just hanging out alone while waiting for the band to come on, but once they did it was well worth it. It was great to see Bob Weir in action once again, as I was a HUGE deadhead in my younger days. He's never been a spectacular musician on a technical level, but he has this stage presence which is just electric. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Very powerful stuff.

I got drunk, listened to some great music, and sparked a Kundalini Release. Very powerful stuff indeed.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Earth Day



Dear Mother Earth: Sorry.

Boo-Ya!!!

I just got back from my final interview, and once again I kicked ass!!! I'm 99.9 percent sure that I got the job. He's supposed to call me in a few hours to finalize the deal (presumably to talk about pay and benefits). I am really excited about this. He asked me if I could start a week from Monday, and said they are "very interested" in me. So, he didn't say I'm hired yet, but it seems like a done deal (knocking on wood as I write this).

I woke up at 5:00am with a sore throat and feeling just generally miserable, so I was a little nervous about going in to an interview while feeling sick. But, I drank a bunch of orange juice, took some vitamins, and drank some coffee to energize just enough for the interview. Now that I'm back I'm feeling sick again.

So, anyways, the job is in commercial real estate. I would be starting off doing a lot of administrative work in the office, but in time they'll send me to school to get my real estate license and eventually I could become a broker and make the big bucks. I'd finally be using my writing abilities for correspondance and for marketing packages, so I feel really good about that.

Okay, now that I've written all of this they'll probably change their minds and I'll feel like a jackass. So, everyone keep your fingers crossed until the deal is final. I'll post something up later when I have a definite answer.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Quick Update

I thought I would throw up one more quick post for today. This is two in one day, which is sort of a record of late. I just finished watching Garden State, which everyone and their mother already saw by now, and I fucking loved it. Great movie. I downloaded a near perfect copy of it, so it was even better because I didn't have to pay to see it. I kept meaning to go and rent it, but for some reason I never did.

I didn't get the call today about that job, so I decided to be a pest and call a couple of times myself until I finally talked to the vice president. He was supposed to call me by the end of the day today to schedule a time on Friday for the final interview, but that didn't happen either. It could be a bad sign, but when I spoke to him today he said he was working on a huge project. So that could be the reason for the silence. We shall have to see what happens.

Alright, I don't have the brain power for anything significant right now. Good night.

Nightmares

Wow, I just awoke from one of the craziest dreams I've ever had. I don't remember the timeline, so I'm not sure if it was one dream or several with breaks in between, but I wanted to write it down before I forget completely. It was the kind of dream that felt real and I couldn't wake up from, even though it was so far out there. I'll write it down as one dream, but I'm not sure of the sequence of events, so it may have been in a different order.

For part of the dream I was at an abandoned house made of concrete in the forest of Wintergreen Woods. Wintergreen was down the street from the house I grew up in, and I spent the better part of my youth running around the woods. I was with my brother, who had bought the concrete house for around $1000, not realizing that it was a SuperFund site that was a toxic waste dump.

At some point in the dream, we were elsewhere and heard news that a storm had knocked the house down. So, we tried to get back to it, but there was an awful storm raging and flooding had filled the streets with water. So, we waded in the water to get to it. As we began to swim I noticed a large snake sitting on a branch on the edge of the water, and as we continued to swim I could see snakes everywhere in the water--big, thick, huge fucking snakes. As I swam I could feel them brushing up against my legs.

Somehow, I managed not to get too freaked out by the snakes and we made it to shore. At some point later my brother and I were in a canoe trying to get to the remnants of the concrete house at the toxic waste dump site. We docked our canoe somewhere, but after we did so it was quickly swept away by the raging flood waters. I tried to jump in the water to catch it, but then I remembered the snakes and thought better of it.

There was a gap, but a short time later I was walking in the woods with my brother, when all of a sudden we passed a group of people walking through the woods. The group included Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. As Paris walked by she gave me a seductive look and said "Hi M." I remember looking at my brother and asking him if he saw the way she was looking at me, and I felt proud that she knew me. I was like, "Hmmm, I didn't even know that she knew me. Imagine that."

After we rounded a corner I found myself indoors in either a museum or an art gallery. I was looking at some stunning images, wishing that I had my camera with me. I went into a different room and realized that I actually did have my camera with me, so I returned to the previous room but found that it had changed and the picture I wanted to take was gone. Then, my grandmother appeared and I was trying to take her picture. As I tried to do so a child of about 9 or 10 years kept running in front of my camera so I couldn't take a picture. The last time he ran in front of the camera I shoved him out of my way in a fit of rage, and immediately realized that I lost my temper and went too far. As I waited to be acosted by the boy's angry parent, I suddenly awoke.


Okay, that was it. I just wanted to write this all down before I forget completely. I've had psychic dreams in the past, so I'm curious to see if any of this was a premonition.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

The Suspense is Killing Me

Tomorrow will be Wednesday and I still haven't gotten the call I was hoping for. After my interview on Friday he said he'd give me a call on "Monday or Tuesday," which obviously didn't happen. It could be a bad sign, or it could just be a sign that he was too busy. I'm thinking I should be proactive and call him myself in the morning. I think I'll say, "Will you just make up your fucking mind already?" Yeah, that should work.

This temp job I have is sucking out all of my brain power, so I don't have the energy to write much at the moment. I promise that I'll soon be back to my obsessively blogging self.

Good night all.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Standard Boring Personal Post

Well, the weekend is just about over. I went down to Connecticut to visit the family and to see a couple of friends. It was okay I guess, but I'm glad to be back home in beautiful Portsmouth. The pictures below are from a walk I took today with my friend Mary.

She's been the subject of many recent rants, but she is one of my best friends in the world, and days like today remind me of that. It isn't that anything exciting or special happened. We just relaxed, walked around town, and had a nice dinner at her place. Despite our history and our frequent battles, we're still tight friends. Even though she manages to piss me off more than any other human being at times, I am very thankful to have her as a friend, because she understands me better than just about anyone at this point in my life.

I'm feeling a little bit edgy, as I expect to get a follow-up call tomorrow regarding that job that I interviewed for on Friday. I don't want to jinx it by saying too much, so I won't say anything. However, even if I don't get it, I still have a job lined up which starts next week, but the pay stinks and I won't get enough hours in that position. It's good to know that I at least have that to fall back on.

Okay, that's it for now. As soon as I get my job situation figured out I should have more time to post regularly again. I think I'm long overdue for a political rant, but I've just been way too busy. I'm sure something will piss me off enough to go on a good rant at some point this week. I'm off to bed now.

Piscatequa River Looking Calm, Running Fast Posted by Hello

Sunny Day in Portsmouth Posted by Hello

Friday, April 15, 2005

Another Angel in Heaven

On a somber note, I just visited Carrison's blog and found out that he has passed on. For those of you who never had the honor of meeting him online, I urge to read this post, and many others that he wrote. He devoted most of his posts to prayer requests for the children with cancer that he knew. Even though he was himself dying, he only asked for people to pray for the kids and their families. I've never cried so hard as I did going to some of the links he provided. Just looking at what these kids and their families go through really helps keep your own life in perspective.

I am crying like a baby right now, so I am going to stop here.

Happy Birthday Leo!!!



I borrowed this image from the National Gallery (London) website. Isn't it lovely? I was going to post the Mona Lisa, but I thought it more appropriate to post one that I've seen in person. Leonardo Da Vinci would be 553 years old today. (Thanks to Google for the funky graphic which pointed this out.)

I don't have much time to write at the moment. I just got back from my interview, and I think that I kicked ass. I don't want to jinx it by saying too much at the moment, but I'll tell you all about it once I find out for sure if I got the position. I have a follow up interview next week, so it will have to be after that. Keep your fingers crossed.

That's it for now. I may return later.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Pint O' Kitty



(I was going to call it a pint of pussy, but then I thought that might be a bit juvenile. Meh.)

I don't actually have anything to say at the moment, so I thought I would post this ridiculous picture I stumbled upon while cruising around. I'm feeling a bit under the weather, and am off to bed soon. G'night all.

Monday, April 11, 2005

A Few Random Thoughts

So, I thought I would post something personal since I just finished off a bit of a political rant. Things are going okay here for the most part. I have a job interview this Friday, which I have a good feeling about. I already had a long, over the phone interview last week, and I guess that must have gone well because they only selected a couple of people to come in for a real interview. We'll have to see how that goes.

I'll be starting that job I already got in a few weeks, as long as I can get past the crazy background check. Shouldn't be a problem, I hope. It seems that I actually passed my drug test, which I wasn't so sure about because I was in a room full of reefer smoke a week before. I didn't smoke, but there was so much smoke in the room that I was sure I'd fail the test because of the second hand smoke.

And things are going okay at the temp job I have at the moment. Today was pretty fucking annoying though. I did a bunch of data entry for no less than 300 accounts last week, and I had to record all of my progress in a spreadsheet. Well, some dumbass deleted the spreadsheet, so I spent ALL DAY today checking every file I worked on and re-recording it. I was more than a little pissed off, but I managed to keep a positive attitude.

So, that's all I have to say for right now. I also wanted to post a poem, just for kicks. It's another from ee cummings. I think I'll dedicate this one to retarius, as he and cummings seem to have that whole lowercase thing in common. Here 'tis:

Spring is like a perhaps hand
(which comes carefully
out of Nowhere)arranging
a window,into which people look(while
people stare
arranging and changing placing
carefully there a strange
thing and a known thing here)and

changing everything carefully

spring is like a perhaps
Hand in a window
(carefully to
and from moving New and
Old things,while
people stare carefully
moving a perhaps
fraction of flower here placing
an inch of air there)and

without breaking anything.

--e.e.cummings

Support the Troops: Bring Them Home

"I'm a war president. . .I make decisions here in the Oval Office in foreign policy matters with war on my mind."--President Bush on Meet the Press on 2/8/04

In case anyone missed what Senator Jim Jeffords of Vermont said recently, read this. From the article: “I think it was all done to get oil,” Jeffords said of invading Iraq. “And the loss of life that we had, and the cost of it, was to me just a re-election move, and they're going to try to live off it. Probably start another war, wouldn't be surprised, next year. Probably in Iran.”

Bush famously bragged that he is a war president, because he and his henchman know the value that having the country at war has during election season. The signs have been there for quite some time: Iran is next.

I've been saying it since at least last November. (Here is another post, and here is another.) It's amazing to see someone so high up finally acknowledging what Jeffords did. Here is a post on TomDispatch today which includes an extensive excerpt from a book by Michael Klare which details the strategic thinking behind the push against Iran.

Klare says, "In reality, much of Washington's concern about Iran's pursuit of WMD and ballistic missiles is sparked by fears for the safety of Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, other Persian Gulf oil producers, and Israel rather than by fears of a direct Iranian assault on the United States. "Tehran has the only military in the region that can threaten its neighbors and Gulf security," Jacoby declared in his February testimony. "Its expanding ballistic missile inventory presents a potential threat to states in the region." It is this regional threat that American leaders are most determined to eliminate. . .In this sense, more than any other, the current planning for an attack on Iran is fundamentally driven by concern over the safety of U.S. energy supplies, as was the 2003 U.S. invasion of Iraq. . .And so, while oil may not be the administration's sole reason for going to war with Iran, it is an essential factor in the overall strategic calculation that makes war likely."

Of course, Bush will try the same crap he did with Iraq and freak out the American people in every which way in order to scare people into going along with him. There'll be talk of WMD and the threat posed to America. There'll be talk of ties to Al-Qaida. Who knows, maybe there will be a terrorist attack in America with the finger of blame pointed at Iran (whether there were actually any Iranians involved or not). We won't know what to believe. They will stop at nothing to get what they want, and what they want is control over the oil in the Middle East.

Let's all remember his lies the last time around, and the human and financial cost.

1,542 (and counting) American lives.
Over $162,000,000,000.
The incalculable cost of eternal shame.
Of course, let's not forget all those Iraqis we killed (or here is another estimate).

(UPDATE: Even if you click no other links in this post, please click this one, and read it. Go now. Shoo!)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

No Longer Seething

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
--Buddha

In case anyone's wondering, I'm feeling much better now after a good battle with the subject of a recent post. Things were said, points were made, hatchets were buried (figuratively, not literally). I can only seethe with rage for a few days before it starts to sap my energy altogether, but it was definitely a healthy rage.

I was just looking at this mask (currently on display by the evil one), which one of my closest female friends in high school gave to me. We lost touch at least ten years ago, but for some reason this creepy mask has followed me around ever since. I've had it on my wall so long I hardly even notice how disturbing it is. I think it must be meant to ward off evil spirits or something.

She was quite an amazing (and insane) human being, and I assume still is. The thing is, I wish I knew. We were such close friends, but she got into some very bad things, and torpedoed every rationship in her life. Years later I heard that she cleaned up her life and was running a floral shop in Massachusetts somewhere. That was a few years back, so I don't know what she's doing right now. I wish I did.

Even after all these years, I still miss the bond that we had. We never got intimitely involved, but we developed an intense friendship. I loved her, intensely. She wasn't my first love, but she was one of the first. For a while it seemed like she was the only one who really understood me, and I understood her on a level that no one else in her life did. She was in the process of discovering her sexuality in those days, clearly discovering that she preferred women. Of course, she figured out that she was a lesbian just before I figured out that I was in love with her, so you can just imagine what I went through.

But it didn't really surprise me when she finally admitted it to herself. In fact, it seemed pretty obvious all along. There were moments where we almost hooked up, but we had something that we knew would have been destroyed if we tried to take it to a higher level. As it turned out, she ended up destroying it by getting a habit which led to her lying and stealing her way out of every friendship in her life. In the end, there was nothing that could've saved that friendship.

At any rate, I've been told that she's doing well, and I'm happy for her. That's it for now, I'm off to enjoy my Saturday night.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Am I in Communist Russia or Something?

(UPDATE: I just corrected the typo in the title (Am I Am). Did no one notice that? Or, if you did, why didn't you point it out?)

Jesus H. Fucking Christ. What has become of America? I was just reading this diary entry on DailyKos.com, by a man who was paid a visit by the Secret Service after he mentioned at a private business meeting that he was starting a think tank aimed at getting the Bush neo-cons out of office. Doesn't the Secret Service have better things to do than to stifle free speech and political dissent?

The person at the meeting took his dissent as a direct threat to the president, because chicken shit repuglicans don't understand what freedom is (though they clearly understand what fascism is). They fear any dissent against this president because if the American people (well, the other 50 percent) finally woke up to the horrible things being commited by the Bush cartel, then it would be so easy to run the neo-con GOPigs out of town. Corruption, war crimes, human rights abuses, war profiteering, lying to the American public, bankrupting the government, raping our economy, raping the environment...need I continue?

These fucking goose-stepping repuglicans stifle free speech every time they pull this shit. Here is another story about a blogger being visited by the KGB--I mean Secret Service--just before the election. Here is the blogger's defense of her non-violent nature (as if she should have to justify having an opinion contrary to the regime in power).

I know there are other examples, but I'll just offer one more. Last November, a few high school students in Boulder, Colorado were planning on performing "Masters of War" by Bob Dylan. Some parents took the song as a direct threat on the president, so they called federal authorities and the kids were visited by the Secret Service.

I remember hearing this way back then and thinking, "Wow, I should post those lyrics on my blog." Then, I actually thought, "No way, I don't want the feds coming to pay me a visit too." Well, fuck. The fact that I stifled my free speech out of fear of the government shows just how far America has fallen. So, as a protest, I am going to post the lyrics in full, right now. If any agents happen to be reading this, just know that I am exercising my rights as a patriotic American, and that I do not advocate harm upon the president. (As if I should have to explain that. Sheesh.)

"Come you masters of war
You that build all the guns
You that build the death planes
You that build the big bombs
You that hide behind walls
You that hide behind desks
I just want you to know
I can see through your masks

You that never done nothin'
But build to destroy
You play with my world
Like it's your little toy
You put a gun in my hand
And you hide from my eyes
And you turn and run farther
When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old
You lie and deceive
A world war can be won
You want me to believe
But I see through your eyes
And I see through your brain
Like I see through the water
That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear
That can ever be hurled
Fear to bring children
Into the world
For threatening my baby
Unborn and unnamed
You ain't worth the blood
That runs in your veins

How much do I know
To talk out of turn
You might say that I'm young
You might say I'm unlearned
But there's one thing I know
Though I'm younger than you
Even Jesus would never
Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question
Is your money that good
Will it buy you forgiveness
Do you think that it could
I think you will find
When your death takes its toll
All the money you made
Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die
And your death'll come soon
I will follow your casket
In the pale afternoon
And I'll watch while you're lowered
Down to your deathbed
And I'll stand o'er your grave
'Til I'm sure that you're dead"


(I honestly don't see any threats there anyways. He might die from choking on a pretzel or something. That's not a threat, is it?)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Seething




"Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."--Aristotle


Well my friends, I am angry once again. I am certain it is with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, but I'm not really sure what the right way is. Is it through yelling and screaming, insults and curses? Or is it through the silent treatment--the old cold shoulder? I freely concede that there have been cases in the past where I had emotional reactions to certain situations and blew up over something small when maybe I shouldn't have. But this time I am certain that I am justified.

Sometimes you need to step back and take a good look at your friendships. It's best to do it before you're forced to do so when one of your so-called friends shows his or her true colors. I think of all the friendships I've had in this life and what happened to some of them. Some just sort of faded away with the years, but others ended suddenly, after an eye-opening experience which revealed the true nature of the relationship. I may have just had such a moment.

I'm going to leave this in it's vague state, so as not to bore you all with the deatails. Perhaps if I calm down I'll come back and revise it, but I am fuming mad right now. grrrrr....

(I shall try to return later with something a little more upbeat, but it may have to wait until tomorrow.)

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Blog Neglect

Sorry to everyone who keeps stopping by to see my fewer-than-usual updates. I promise that I will eventually get back in the habit of posting every day. I've just been so busy trying to find a new job. I'm going to be starting one in a few weeks, but I'm worried that there won't be enough hours available for it. So, I continue to seek other opportunities.

I actually just sent a letter out for a position as a correspondent for a local newspaper. Seeing as how I have a bachelor's degree in English and journalism, it makes a lot more sense than some of the ridiculous office jobs I've had over the last few years. It would be a great opportunity for me, because I could do it on the side when I start my new job. It's a freelance position, so I could start building my resume as a reporter that way while having steady income and benefits from the other job. We'll have to see how that goes.

Also, I started a new temp job today, doing data entry for an insurance company. The pay sucks, and it's boring, but it seems like a nice, relaxed environment with some good people working there. I guess I can deal with it for a few weeks, since I need the income and all.

So, that's about all I have to say right now. I'm too tired for a political rant, so in lieu of that, I give you Penises in the News. (By the way, for those of us in America, 20cm is equal to about 7.9 inches. They didn't measure thickness though, which I'm told is what really counts.)

UPDATE: Oh yeah, and check out today's Non-Stop Cavalcade of Fun. Retarius is back with a vengence. I just pissed myself from laughing so hard.

UPDATE: Okay, one more thing. The Rude One has an especially rude post up about the Pope. !!!WARNING!!!: This is just about the most offensive thing I've ever read, so if you can't handle a little blasphemy, don't click this link. I am seriously going to hell for linking to this.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Just One Last Thing

Okay, so I had to post one more thing today before bed. Here is an Iraqi's take on American media.

Who Would Jesus Torture?

As I look at my blog I realize that I've kind of been a little self-absorbed of late due to some personal issues. Right up until the appointment of Alberto the Torturer Gonzales as Attorney General I had sort of made systematic torture by the United States my pet issue. Just so you all know, I am still on the case.

I even went so far as to write my senators to urge them to vote no on Gonzales. They wrote back saying that he was an American success story and was the first ever Latino to hold the position. They didn't attempt to justify his views on human rights or to address the damage that the policies of torture that his legal advice led to had on America's reputation in the world. But hey, they're repuglicans, so what could I expect?

The Independent (U.K.) has this story up today which shows what anyone with half a brain already knew: that the abuse (read: torture) of prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan was the result of orders that came straight from the top. From the article:

"Documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) reveal that Lt General Ricardo Sanchez authorised techniques such as the use of dogs to intimidate prisoners, stress positions and disorientation. In the documents, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act, Gen Sanchez admits that some of the techniques would not be tolerated by other countries...Six weeks after Gen Sanchez issued his memo, a subsequent directive banned the use of dogs and several of the other techniques following concerns raised by military lawyers. The ACLU says that at least 12 of the techniques listed in the memo went beyond the limits for interrogation listed in the US Army's field manual."

Moreover, General Sanchez LIED TO CONGRESS when he appeared at a hearing before the Senate Armed Services Committee in May of 2004. He said under oath, "I never approved any of those measures to be used ... at any time in the last year." It is a federal crime to lie to congress, and there are no exemptions for military generals. The ACLU has urged Gonzales the Torturer to appoint a special counsel to investigate, but I suspect nothing will be done.

I understand that things are tough for our military in Iraq, but there is no reasonable justification for resorting to torture. You don't defeat an enemy by becoming more cruel and evil. How can our leaders keep a straight face when declaring that we are the shining example of freedom and human rights for the world? There has been no accountability for this whole mess, except to make scapegoats out of some peons who were only following orders. America may never fully recover from the damage that these people have done, and our leaders refuse to act.

The day will come when America has to answer for these and other war crimes that have been committed. The world will not forget the horrible things that have been done in Iraq, even if most of the American public already has.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Popey In Better Days


Popey, Rest In Peace

"When war, as in these days in Iraq, threatens the fate of humanity, it is ever more urgent to proclaim, with a strong and decisive voice, that only peace is the road to follow to construct a more just and united society... Violence and arms can never resolve the problems of men."

-Pope John Paul II, on the American attack on Iraq


It has been many years since I have become completely disaffected with the teachings of the Catholic church. But I have to admit that Pope John Paul II was a great man whose presence in this world will be sorely missed. I posted the quote above to remind people that he was a man of true faith, unlike President Bush. The robots on the 24 hour news networks keep comparing Bush's views on the "culture of life" with that of the Pope's, and they have co-opted Bush's stupid phrase in every case. To even mention Bush in the same sentence as the Pope is a joke.

They keep saying that Bush and the Pope had similar ideas about the beginnings and the end of life. Bush is nothing but a hypocrite, but the news networks just glaze over obvious facts, such as the law he signed as governor of Texas giving hospitals the right to cut off life support if the patient couldn't afford it, or all those inmates he executed as governor, or the tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of deaths he caused in Iraq. Culture of life my ass.

I disagreed with Pope John Paul II on many issues, but I have to give him credit for being a man who stood behind his beliefs. He was many things, but he was no hypocrite. I'm just going to close with a couple more quotes to remind people of the great divide between Bush, who exploits the religious to obtain and hold on to power, and the late Pope John Paul II. Note that these quotes seem to be at odds with the neoconservative philosophy dominating the decisions made in the White House.

"Pervading nationalism imposes its dominion on man today in many different forms and with an aggressiveness that spares no one. The challenge that is already with us is the temptation to accept as true freedom what in reality is only a new form of slavery."--PJPII

"Radical changes in world politics leave America with a heightened responsibility to be, for the world, an example of a genuinely free, democratic, just and humane society. "--PJPII

Friday, April 01, 2005

Ooops, I F@cked Up My Blog

I've removed the evil April Fools javascript, as it was starting to annoy me. However, now there is that stupid "Error on Page" symbol at the bottom left. I'll have to play around to see if I can fix it. Oh well, serves me right I suppose. I don't have time to play with the template today, so that'll have to wait.

(UPDATE: I found the error in the form of a missing bracket (>) in my template, so the problem has been fixed.)

Just a few quick updates on the job hunt. I had a phone interview today, which went exceptionally well, so I expect to hear something back in the next week or so. Also, I'm starting a temp job on Tuesday, so at least I'll have a little bit of cash flow until I start my new job (which doesn't have enough hours available for me to live off of), or until I find something else, which should be soon.

The Skrambled One is feeling much better now that he is less worried about being completely broke (though poverty will still be an issue).

Okay, enough of that for now. It's time for Penises In the News. Of course, this is coming from PETA, so it's a little bit biased, but there is a new study out linking hunters with small penises. Come to think of it, that isn't really all that surprising. Don't get me wrong, I think I venison is delicious, but I don't think I could ever shoot Bambi.

Perhaps this story might give hope to PETA in their effort to stop hunting.

April Fools!

"April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers."
----from The Wasteland, by T.S. Eliot

Did you like my scary April Fools prank? I'm hoping I didn't scare too many people away. If you look on the bottom left of the screen it kind of looks like you're getting a virus, but it's fake, so don't worry. I was just going to leave it and not say anything, but then I thought I might permanently lose some readers out of paranoia that they might actually get a virus from visiting this page. Don't worry, you're not getting a virus. You can click "No" when it asks you if you want to close the browser.

At any rate, Google has an April Fools Day joke up today, as they're known for doing. If you go to Google and click on Google Gulp, they have a humorous little section there. For those too lazy to click twice, here is the joke.
(UPDATE: GMail also has something going on at the sign-in page. Apparently they are increasing their storage size to infinity plus one. Obviously a joke, but I'm wondering if they really are increasing the size. At any rate, today is also GMail's 1st birthday, so Happy B-Day GMail!)
(ANOTHER UPDATE: I urge you all to check out Homestar Runner as well for more April Fool's Day fun. But you might not get it if you haven't ever been there before.)

Okay, that's it for now. I have a busy day ahead of me. I have a phone interview this afternoon and I have to take a drug test for the job I just got.